Thursday, January 29, 2009 @ 9:22 PM
I want the older days back.
Moments in time when I constantly gave ear-to-ear grins, which I'm typically known for. I didn't have to care, be worried and be scared about what tomorrow would bring.
And most importantly, I had my happy place.
I was happy.
And now what?
I cry. A lot.
I become more sensitive every time I get hurt. And this unfathomable cut here, in my poor throbbing heart, grows even more unfathomable. Well no, this isn't about love. Particularly, love towards a him. I suppose, you know what I mean.
I just feel a lot different. Different from who I used to be. I now often feel downhearted. Sad. Tired. Melancholic, as if my soul's torn or something. Moreover, I can't help but think and worry all the time.
It's deviant how I spend most of my time staring into space. Silent and simply allowing my thoughts to wander off. When folks spot me, they'd ask, "Tana, okay ka lang ba?" Then I give an awkward smirk, and respond, "Oo, okay lang ako". They'd answer, "Ang tahimik mo kasi eh" or "Ang tahimik mo nanaman eh".
I'd try to compose myself and get back to reality. My brain goes WHAT'SWRONGWITHMEWHAT'SWRONGWITHMEWHAT'SWRONGWITHME!
What the hell is wrong with me?
There are even times when I'm with some chums, I'll be unvoiced and I'd have this tedious look on my face. When they'll be able to observe that, they'd ask , "Tana, okay ka lang ba?" As usual, I'd answer, "Oo, okay lang ako". Which is in fact true. Then they'd answer back, "Ganyan na ba talaga ang normal mong mukha?". dot dot dot
People aren't just used to seeing me cheerless.
Ever since last year, when Mr. Problem and Ms. Stress came rushing towards me and filled my whole system up, I've been acting as the total opposite of a once bright and breezy *me*.
I don't smile much now. Sometimes I even think that I don't have time for it anymore.
I miss the old days.
I miss the ol' me.
I miss the times when my eyebrows weren't always touching.
I miss how I don't have to think too much.
I just miss how I'd laugh about everything.
I want my happy place back.
I want to be happy again.
-Lemme' be melodramatic for awhile. I don't have anyone to talk to, except you my dear blog-ee. :(
Monday, January 26, 2009 @ 9:20 PM
I'm supposed to be reflecting on Barack Obama's speech for tomorrow's activity in English class. We'll be having another formal theme writing about it. I should as well be solving the given volume-to-volume stoichiometric problem in Chemistry. Plus, I have to do the lettering thing in TLE!
It's already late and I haven't accomplished even a single homework yet. And still, I am utterly lazy. So, I'll be doing those stuffs tomorrow instead.
Oh, man. Procrastinating
again. I know I should stop practicing that kind of doing. But I really can't help it. o___O
When will I ever learn?
@ 8:10 PM
J: Thank you that the newly elected president of the United States is Barack Obama. May you bless him, so as our English teacher, Mr. Cyril Francis Licyayo, because someday, he might also be the next president of the Philippines.
J: LORD, Thank you for the wind that we feel even though it is polluted.
Small statements taken from his-slash-her own made prayer.
As you read that, you may think that it isn't funny at all. Kung narinig niyo lang kanina, 'twas hilarous. XD You'll probably have to hold your laughter.
*coughs* Sorry po Lord.
Saturday, January 24, 2009 @ 9:47 PM
I won't let little things upset me, with the help of God.
@ 2:26 PM
I've been a fan of the fictional based Harry Potter series ever since the first movie came out. I think I was about 7 years of age that time. I've learned then that there were these Harry Potter books compiled in a (as what I've just said) series. And since I had this passion in reading, I started collecting them! Until then, my love for it grew.
Okay, so I love Twilight now. Or was it just yesterday? But I'll always love Harry Potter. That's ALWAYS and incessantly. Oha! Which came first, eh? :p
I am pretty excited about the upcoming movie. Harry Potter 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. But I won't heighten my hopes too much so I wouldn't get disappointed, like what I've felt after watching the previous films, HP4 and HP5. I know, I know... The ones making the motion picture cannot possibly carry out the exact flow of the story. -DETAILED. But I think it would still turn out to be quite good and...it will be way, way better than the Twi movie. Haha.
HARRY POTTER. ♥
Of course. :)
I was hoping that the young Tom Riddle would be more good-looking. Haha.BEFORE:
He's quite handsome. :)
Teh CURLS! :D
--Those three pictures portraying his teenage appearance, were from HP2 Chamber of Secrets. You know, the flash-back? the diary? During that time, he was in his 5th year in Hogwarts.
Oh, c'mon Voldee! Do you really need to grin?
It's LUNA! ♥
Ooh. Her long golden curls! :)
Well...not really, I suppose.
I thought this picture of her looked funny.
--I'll try to post a lot more next time, alright? Ta ta. :)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 @ 6:02 PM
I cannot believe I just blew it off.
Yes, dear blog-ee, it was my Chemistry exam!
I wasn't able to finish answering most of the items andandand...after that, I just felt this twinge nibbling my innards and it made me want to cry. But I didn't cry out loud. It was just here inside
held in reserve.
I knew I was confident enough that I'll be able to answer most of the questions because I focused studying most
on that subject.
When I finally received the exam papers, I first checked if the pages of the questionnaire were complete, then I started answering the first question. When I read the second question, then and there it hit me! Mental Block* I completely forgot what to do next! I began to check the clock from time to time as I answered some other questions. And as for majority of the queries, I struggled trying to figure out how in the world will I answer them. My hands even started to shudder when I learned that there was only little time left and I've only answered 60 percent of the problems and most of which weren't sure. So, I panicked and panicked and panicked until the bell eventually rang.
Come to think of it, eh? It sure was a hell of a crap!
Anyway, Geometry was easy -I cannot believe I am saying this. And it kind of took me by surprise. Thank God it was a multiply choice type of test and it made it easier for me!
Filipino. It sort of made me abhor Noli me Tangere. Period.
Oh well. So much for that.
Oha! Chuck Baaaasssss! :D
He makes me want to...to...to...
Saturday, January 17, 2009 @ 11:18 PM
Start small and God will bless you with more...
Saturday, January 10, 2009 @ 3:14 PM
Everyone's been talking about PROM
. It's a month away and I haven't even chosen a gown yet. I am far away from being excited, not because I'm scared or nervous about this social gathering, but it's just that, I don't feel it. FEEEEL it. Period.
Most of our teachers would tell us or comment that we are the only batch they know who isn't excited about prom. I don't really know the reason behind the fact that we feel
this way, considering that when we were in our lower years we were awfully thrilled to have this kind of event. We even had this Bequeathal Ceremony during our 5th and 6th grade years, which I only think exists at our school. XD It is somehow equivalent to prom. The only differences are; we wear our gala uniforms, it is held in our school's audi-gym and it starts early afternoon and ends up about 6.
Anyhoo, I just can't believe I'm unbelievably lazy about dealing with this. Prom.
But despite that, I'll still go of course. Haha. This would only be twice in a lifetime, or maybe just once!
I just hope the incoming experience would prove me wrong.